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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP, I have been in your situation twice, although neither time was our cat as old as your cat is. 13 is quite respectable for a cat!

Our first cat with this issue, a male tabby (apparently prone to bladder issues), had recurring cystitis that eventually led to a bladder rupture. His peeing outside the box issues were both physical and behavioral. We spent thousands of dollars on vet care (including behavioral vet care), tried every food and medicine available at the time, and had to replace furniture and other items that he peed on. It was crazy -- we had to close all bedroom doors and cover all the living room furniture with shower curtains every time we left the house as no room and nothing was safe. We discussed many times whether we could rehome him but realized that there is no rehoming an indoor-only cat with uncontrollable peeing problems. When his bladder ruptured, and we were looking at a $5000+ bill for two weeks of intensive inpatient care to get him through the crisis, with every chance of later recurrence, that was it. We euthanized him with much sadness but no regrets.

I will also point out that he had been the friendliest, most loving cat before his health issues caused him to undergo a massive personality change into a grumpy, growling kitty. He was not happy because he was not well. I was so sorry to lose him but there was no viable alternative.

Our second cat with this issue was so much harder because there was no apparent physical cause of his peeing problems. A move plus a cat terrorizing him from outside our new house (grrr, I freaking HATE people who let their cats outdoors -- so irresponsible on so many levels) caused him to start peeing outside the box to mark territory despite anti-anxiety meds, new litterboxes (in addition to the multiple litterboxes we already had), new blinds to hide his view (although probably not the smell or sound) of the outside cat, and every behavioral intervention that we and the vets could come up with. Nothing worked. It was driving my husband crazy although he is much more of the catlover than I am. No lie -- it was so hard to make the decision, and it was terrible on my kids, but the decision to euthanize our cat was the right one. It would have been morally wrong to try to rehome him by taking him to a shelter. I looked into cat sanctuaries but that would have been terrible for him because other cats stressed the hell out of him. He was an indoor-only cat and I never would have let him outside or sent him to live on a farm. Euthanasia was the right decision even though he was not old.

OP, I don't think your husband is an ass. People who haven't lived with it have no idea how horrible it is to have a cat peeing outside the box. Although I do think it would be reasonable to try an additional litterbox -- would a covered one work? If you scoop daily, and change the litter out regularly, it's not that smelly and not gross to look at. But if that really won't fly, and you are at peace with the decision, then I think it's OK to give your kitty a gentle death. You have given her a much better life than she might have had and 13 is a good age for a kitty.

Good luck, and ignore the haters.[/quote]

Thanks PP.  I keep reading that average indoor cat life expectancy is 12-14, but 18+ is not uncommon, so I don't feel like I have a good sense of whether this cat is the people version of 70, 80, 90, or what.  It's somewhat comforting to hear that 13 is into the end-of-life age for a cat, which makes this seem more...normal, I guess.

My husband has dutifully scooped litter for nearly nine years while I've been pregnant or nursing four kids (he continued while I was nursing, not just pregnant, just to "be safe", even though I told him I could do it).  He HATES, HATES, HATES the smell of cat litter to the point of physical revulsion.  He showers after scooping the box.  Scooped product goes straight to the trash can outside.  He is completely, utterly disgusted by pee on his pillow or his bed, in our closet, in the hallway, and on not one but two of our kids' beanbags.  He has weathered this all without pitching a fight to get rid of the cat, but now that we're on a multiple pees per month (per week, really), he's just done.  There is nowhere particularly viable for the upstairs litter box given my husband's extreme hatred of kitty litter.  So, we're hoping for the best but at this point I'm prepared for the worst.

I realize our cat has been doing a bit more hiding out lately, but has also been a bit more desperate for affection.  She had a weekend alone over the 4th (total of about 48 hours, with plenty of food and water; going elsewhere would be more stressful for her), and she didn't pee anywhere.  The day after our return, the second beanbag turned into an auxiliary litter box.  She is such an anxious animal, and I do think it would be worse for her to be penned up outside of "her" space.

Here's where I think I'm truly a terrible person: I was hoping the vet would discover the beginning of some painful, awful disease so that we could just euthanize her and be at peace with it.  I don't wish illness on the poor creature, but I could use some peace of mind that I'd be doing the right thing.  Ugh.

Bonus info: my kids are both in favor of the cat's sooner rather than later death, and also attached to her and very sad when they see her looking scared or unhappy (she was very scared during the recent vet visit, and kids saw her in the cat carrier before departure).  They desperately want a dog (which I agree would be very therapeutic for one of my kids in particular), and know that we won't be getting a dog while the cat is still a member of the household.  So, they love her and don't want her scared or hurt, and will be sad when she dies, but..."Mom, Mom, can we get a puppy now?!?"  (And yes, I'm rethinking dog ownership based on this experience.)[/quote]

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