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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Question for the monogamous folks who became poly later.

When you first began exploring polyamory, did you each seek out partners separately or together. I know that "unicorn hunting" is generally unrealistic.[/quote]

For us, we always thought monogamy was a crock of shit. However, we were monogamous for 15 years, never seeking anything outside out. However, another woman kind of dropped into our lives unexpectedly. It was something that just happened.  I think for us, we are extremely picky and don't feel any urgency to find a partner ( we are more into the FMF thing), but it has just happened twice. You'd be really surprised to know how many single women are out there who  also don't seek this out, but it ends up happening. It is often women who for whatever reason don't want a true commitment, but want the perks of intimacy and the security of having somebody there for them. I'm very sensitive to our third because it is a hard spot to be in. It certainly would not be for me, but I do crave commitment and have no problem with it.

Only time actual unicorn hunting will work for you is if you are

1. Not Picky
or
2. extremely attractive
3. and are very secure as to not cause drama (usually it is the wife that is the big drama problem maker)[/quote]

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