Reply to Rant about childless family members

Forum Index » Family Relationships

Reply to "Rant about childless family members"

Subject:

Emoticons





More smilies

Text Color: Font: Close Marks

[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Your family members sound kind of stupid, honestly. I'm childfree, and I completely get how much harder everything is with a kid. I go to see my friends with kids 95% of the time (and I usually bring takeout). i let them choose the best times to get together, and I'm fine with it being pretty rare.

I mean, really - there are multiple people in your family who don't understand you can't leave sleeping children home alone? Maybe you just have a particularly irresponsible family?? Because this seems beyond being childless and more like being clueless to the entire world around them.

That said, your complaints about them not sticking around to help with the hard stuff... well, yeah, that's the benefit of not having kids. I don't think they should be expected to. Part of your post is about stupid expectations from your family without kids (totally understandable), but part of your post reads -to me- like a whine about why people aren't giving you special accommodation now that you're a MOMMYYYYY (Why shouldn't you be expected to equally participate in family events/gifts?). [/quote]

I'm the oldest, so I've had to take on the role of the responsible one.  It kind of sucks.  I'm always the one at family gatherings helping out our parents with dishes, cooking, cleaning up, while the other siblings and cousins have fun.  It's hard for me to see other older people working hard or struggling and just sit back and relax myself.  It kind of creates a distance between me and my siblings/cousins, which I resent, but I think that's just part of being the oldest.

And it was a male sibling who thought I could leave a sleeping child at home.  Not to excuse it, but guys really, really don't get it, especially before kids. DH was the same.

And yes, I know, I get the part where it's not their responsibility to help with the not-fun stuff with the kids.  That's why I avoid asking, most of the time, and generally just try to include them in the fun stuff.

I also get that they are my kids, my responsibility - but at the same time, it just aggravates me that at a family dinner table of 8 people, not one offers to help out one mom who is clearly running around the entire time getting food for the kids, changing diapers, feeding the baby, taking the older child to the potty, cutting up food, cleaning up after them.  And then, I am pressured to bring the kids out after dinner to "do something fun" and made fun of as having a pole up my butt for not wanting to! [/quote]

As to your last paragraph...don't be a martyr. People without kids don't think about kids' needs. They just don't. So, in the dinner situation that you describe above, you need to ask for specific help at the time you need it...as in, "I have to take Larla to the bathroom. Uncle Steve, can you cut Larlo's steak up in small pieces?" I can't imagine that Uncle Steve wouldn't help out in the moment. If he doesn't, only then do you have a legitimate complaint.[/quote]

Options

	Disable HTML in this message
	Disable BB Code in this message
	Disable smilies in this message

Review message

Search Recent Topics Hottest Topics