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[quote=Anonymous]OP here- thanks to all, this has been helpful. I agree that part of the problem is using Facebook as a medium- it's personal to him that I don't respond. And one PP mentioned us not living where they do- yes, the main reason DH moved away was to get away from the dysfunction. There is quite a bit of resentment from his family that we're not physically closer. But on the flip side, DH loves his family and wants to have a good relationship with them (albeit from a distance), so I feel a responsibility to support him in that and do what I can to make things as smooth as possible.

I certainly cannot change them, but I think we will extend the offer to our niece to come out here- she loves DD and is really a great kid, and I want to foster the cousin bond. For the adults, I think I'll give a cooling off period then email them with what the PP suggested above (thank you again!) and see where it goes. Hopefully all this works out, but I can guarantee you we're never moving to his hometown. [/quote]

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