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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Are you sure she's well? People who get angry a lot often have medical reasons for being this way. You seem pretty normal, so I'm surprised you have such strange parents. Maybe they didn't used to be as bad.[/quote]

OP here,

Thank you for all the support. I really do appreciate it and hope that those of us in similar situations can support one another and help figure out how to stay sane with this kind of parent.

My Mom and I have clashed since I was a teen. When I was young, the "injustice" of everything with her really bothered me. There was no way to be rational or logical...and as a kid nothing ever made sense or was "fair".  It was very frustrating. As an adult, I went away to college - that gave me a lot of perspective on what's right and not right about my Mom's behavior. After college I lived at home for a short time that didn't work and then moved away - my moving away enraged my Mom and she still is angry about it to this day - 20 years later!

I just have never connected with my Mom because of all the drama and conflict. I went through a long period as an adult where I really tried hard to make the relationship work, to try and give her the kind of relationship she wants to have with her daughter, but I just can't...I stopped trying. I've been pulling back for years. Having my own family and child has help put that relationship into perspective and my husband is very supportive of me with regard to her. She won't do or say anything to me when he is present, so she clearly can control herself...just chooses not to.

Anyway, I see her behavior with others, her losing relationships, her constant anger or dislike of/judging others and know that it's not me. My sibling has the same problems with her.

I've just been trying to keep her at arms length, visit when it makes sense and just do my own life otherwise.

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