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[quote=Anonymous]OP here.

I really do appreciate the helpful posts here. I agree with a lot of what's been said and I have used many of these tactics in the past - but not consistently. I'm going to work on that.

At this point in my life I talk with her maybe 2x per week - which she HATES. You can feel the anger seething beneath the surface when I do talk with her on the phone.

The worse she behaves the more I pull back. She doesn't get it though, so as I pull back the more angry/anxious/nasty she gets, so I pull back even more.

For your amusement, I will share that when she texted the "not coming says it all" I responded with "LOL"  She then texted "Wow, remind us to laugh the next time your feelings are hurt." Which I read and then really did laugh out loud.

I learned a LONG time ago that I can't trust my Mother with any personal information (it gets thrown back in your face later) and would never share any real feelings or problems with her. She knows NOTHING about my everyday life on purpose - I live this far away for a reason. I actively chose to not live near her.

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