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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP here: if I do decide to broach a relationship discussion with her, does anyone have any ideas of how I could casually bring it up?
I tend to get anxious and then blurt things out that are not diplomatic or open ended.

Would this work: "you will be leaving for your program soon! How are you feeling about the trip you and BF are going to be taking afterward?"

Is that too blunt?[/quote]

You need to focus on the bigger picture here -- does your daughter seem happy with him? Is she acting like her usual self? Is there anything about the way she is acting that is giving you red flags about her emotional state? If the answers are yes, yes, and no, there is no place for you to get involved here. If the answers are something else, then you address it from that angle -- is everything okay? You don't really seem like yourself lately, is something going on? That gets to her emotional state, how she feels about the relationship, and lets you support her without attacking him. Just telling her that you think he's a bad guy because he doesn't pick her up will alienate her.

And if she is happy, acting like her usual self and doesn't seem upset about the driving situation, you keep your mouth shut unless/until that changes, because if your daughter is emotionally healthy and happy, there is zero reason to get involved and upset that.[/quote]

+1. my sister is with a POS. she is an adult and there is nothing we can do, she need to realize it by herself. my mother though could not keep her mouth shut, after some pretty egregious behavior by the guy my mother went to war, napalm bombing style. the result is that my sister defended the guy, deluded herself that the guy has changed and so on.  ironically, my mom was his best ally.  your DD is young, she may be more into him than him into her, so what, they will eventually break up. if you say something you risk that your DD will become defensive, dig in and overall you will be making things worse. she is an adult. barring outright abuse, leave her alone. she will live and learn, like everybody. [/quote]

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