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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP here, I can't say we we won't be home and if I do this will cause a huge fight with DH.  I'm not willing to let this women become a source of contention between my husband and I.  I'm thinking of making her take a blue shuttle and leaving her at the house all day.  Is this mean?  [/quote]

The source of contention wouldn't be his mother, it would be his unwillingness to respect your needs. It's up to you whether that's a battle you want to fight, but it would be for me.[/quote]

OP here. Couldn't agree more.  I've expressed this point when he says stupid things like, "why do you hate my mother?"  She however is not without blame.  I am so frustrated by the whole situation, DH not respecting my position that I should be consulted before someone deceits they are going to stay with us, the fact that to him it's just s mom and that women who has offended me in so many ways I'd love to just tell her how I felt about her.  However, I have to play this game her way and I'm looking for suggestions.[/quote]
Oh you have a husband problem, a big one. There are a million ways to figure out compromises on the visit schedule, but you and DH need counseling to figure out why he does not respect your feelings. Is he afraid of his mom? Is he afraid that she will withold love if  he does not do exactly what she wants? It could be his reacting from immature and unhealthy emotional patterns with his mom and is not actively/deliberately trying to disrespect you, it is just the collateral damage when he is unconsciously trying to protect himself. The end result is the same to you.[/quote]

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