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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]20:41, thank you.  We have an excellent psychologist working with him on skill building.  I agree, as does she, that medication alone is not the answer.[/quote]

20:41 here-- Maybe this isn't your dilemma at all, but I found it easier to parent my son when I accepted his challenges. I'm not doing it perfectly, but I think our earlier battles happened, in part, because I was anxious about his behavior and eventual diagnosis. Now, I know why he does what he does, but I can also look back and see the strides he has made.

I think too, that I am more flexible in how I approach situations. I know that my job is to teach him coping skills and self-monitoring, and as I get better at this parenting thing, my actions for the most part, reflect the big picture.

Not sure if someone mentioned this to you, but try Ross Greene's "The Explosive Child" and "Lost at School." I had difficulty embracing his philosophy until I realized that traditional discipline often doesn't work (and can make things worse) for my son. [/quote]

How do you deal with other parents?  With teachers?  I am already tired of my child being labeled a "brat."  He is far from a brat.  He is a very caring child and he is fully aware that he can't control himself.  When he does something wrong he is immediately remorseful.  We are working to get the help and support we need for him and for us.  It is so hard to see him struggle, and other adults are often judgmental and mean, both to him and to my husband and I as parents.  You can feel the weight of it.  "Why don't they control that kid?  Why don't they discipline him?  If I were his parent I would [fill in the blank.]"  Or whatever other sanctimonious thoughts you can see going on behind their eyes.[/quote]
It's not easy. I find myself limiting the people we hang out with to other like challenged families. It was really funny - my son met another boy while waiting at his younger brothers soccer game. Turned out we had kids on the same team (younger) and both older boys have ADD. They clicked. Much easier to have him play with someone that is on his own plane.
I also know yelling does not work. It escalates the situation. So in my case, when they see that I calmly talk to my son, and often it works to redirect him, they see that I know how to parent my child.
I also know that the ones that label my kid as a brat have their own challenges and secrets they don't think the rest of us know. But yeah, I heard from my son what their son was caught doing. So I don't let their sanctimonious attitude get to me.[/quote]

I hear you.  But that's pretty hard to do when we live on a street of kids.  And I know people talk.  It's mean, and it's hurtful.  I can't believe adults behave this way.  How do you know which kids have ADHD?  You just ask?  You mention that your kid has it?  I'm being serious here.  I'm doing my best to help him make friends and socialize but I'm at a bit of a loss.[/quote]
Many volunteer the information. It helps that a boy down the street has it, and his mom is open about the challenges. She also doesn't medicate on weekends, so there is a stark contrast between weekday "Alex" and weekend "Alex". I think she feels the need to explain why he's so "everywhere" on the weekends. 
Another happened to come up at a birthday party. Kids are in the same class and we started venting about the complaints from the teacher... And our kids have the same issues. It was so relieving to talk to someone going through the same things! 
It is hurtful. But don't let others have control over your happiness and feelings. Learn to deflect, and harden your heart to the looks and comments. They don't have the same challenges and issues and don't know what it's like. They are just ignorant - and I'm not saying that in a mean way. They don't understand and so their opinions and judgement are baseless.[/quote]

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