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[quote=Anonymous]So, if this description is just exaggerated on the urine front (i.e., she has once or twice wet herself, but usually it's just not wiping), this description isn't far from me at 11. I was a major tomboy, lazy and I realized it bugged my stepmother that I didn't care at all. Bathed once a week, no deodorant, didn't brush my hair at all, rarely brushed teeth, rewore dirty clothes, refused to wear a bra even once necessary, etc. (No self-wetting, so I didn't physically suffer/get sick at all. That's the only part of OP's story that is a red flag for me.) I was super smart, a pretty good student at a public magnet and therapist blessed as "normal." Got along with step sibs well, but not a huge fan of my stepmother; no real/actual conflict, but enjoyed bothering her. No peer pressure/comments until 13 and, even then, not many. I wasn't popular, but I wasn't unpopular. Never teased really. Plenty of friends.  Considered pretty. Elected to student council and club leadership positions. No teacher comments ever except once about my hair being a rats nest in the context of getting made up for a play.

Everything changed on its own when I got interested in boys at 14-15. (I was a tad behind my peers on this front despite physical puberty being on time -- period at 13.) Mostly normal by 15-16 and minor remnants only because I was lazy and used to being lax. Completely normal habits by college. Now married with kids.

All of which is to say, I don't think (most of) OP's post is quite as weird as people are making out. And I bet SDD grows out of it. Hearing you message from others will help (esp if there's any chance it's you-directed like my behavior was); shaming will not and will just destroy you relationship. For what it's worth, my relationship with my stepmother is now great and my kids know her as 1 of their 3 grandmas.[/quote]

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