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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I have two children (both boys) who are now in their early 30's.

S1 is great at EVERYTHING he has ever done.  He did not take after either parent (both average with +/-'s).  He was a great student, a great athlete, popular, caring, even tempered, and just about everything else that you could imagine.  Since he was young, he has gotten out of bed at 5am and literally almost sprinted through the day with what seems like effortless grace until late into the evening 7 days a week.  In high school and college he tutored kids in his class, raised money for numerous charities and travled on missions throughout the world.

S1 was admitted into the 4 Ivy league schools that he applied to but chose to go to Duke as it was a full ride scholarship (we paid nothing).  He was admitted to Johns Hopkins on another full ride scholarship for medical school and is now a Cardiothoracic Surgeon at a top hospital.  He possess a superhuman dedication, is incredibility intelligent and has the ability to work harder than any other person that I have ever seen on the planet.

S2 is 3 years younger and we an OK student.  He was a normal kid with his ups and downs.  Is a fine young man but like most has his warts.

I love them both but its really not a question of who the better person is.  I never tried to compare the two while they were growing up and the OP should not as well.  For those that say everyone has there strengths and weakness is full of it.[/quote]

OP here.   But how did you keep S2 from feeling bad about how well S1 did?  Did you just tell S2 that you were impressed with A, B, C that S2 did?  Did you tell him that everyone is different if he ever asked about S1 and his achievements?

Just wondering how to parent and make second child feel good about himself while first child is doing amazing at this, that, and the other.  Also, do I congratulate first child just by himself when second child can't hear or just praise both in front of each other?[/quote]

I never equated love with accomplishment.  There are lots of people with more accomplishments than I have.  I recognize that, move forward and live life.  I told S2 that he just happened to be related to someone with gifts and grit that most people do not have.[/quote]

Are you a troll? Seriously, in how many different ways can you tell you children "S1, you rock. S2, you have a rockstar for a sib." I have trouble believing this level of cluelessness is real.

But I suppose OP's response indicates that this level of cluelessness is all too real. OP, you are unwilling to let go of the idea that your DC1 is AMAZING -- the word you use over and over again,and that the problem here is that DC2 is not amazing. No matter how many posts you read about the burdens on the amazing child, the many ways in which amazing children are actually set up to fail, the one post you latch onto is the one in which a parent like you writes that their S1 is still AMAZING as an adult and her S2 just kinda sucks.

You do not not praise your children for accomplishments. You do not praise DC1 for being amazing or try to come up with a pathetic attempt at praising DC2 "Son, you are so good with the pets." He will see right through that one. Every time you tell your child how brilliant he is, he i learning that it should all just come to him and if it doesn't, he has failed. Studies have shown this over and over again. You refuse to grasp this because you are attached to this idea that AMAZING child will live a life that will validate your own.

Children are not supposed to have accomplishments. This whole idea that children are supposed to have some thing they are great at, something you can praise, is the reason we are robbing a;; our children of a real childhood. Children are supposed to learn and play and grow. Thats their job.[/quote]

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