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[quote=Anonymous]OMG, don't let him get to you!  My husband used to give me such shit when we had our first child and I worked 60 hour weeks.  He'd get all mad I didn't do enough around the house and walk into our once a week counseling appointment and just beat me over the head with what I wasn't doing.  I once got so mad, I stormed out of counseling one night and broke her door (locking her in with DH)!.

You and your husband may have problems OP, but I guarantee your problems are not being a bad mother.  You are probably a hugely overwhelmed and under appreciated mother.

[b]first and foremost, you need to not let your husband set the expectations for what makes a good mother or a good parent[/b].  If you don't, you will always be on the defensive and always trying to please a man that seems to have significant emotional issues himself.

Next, you need to get back to the counselor with your husband and as calmly as possible set some ground rules for how you are going to treat each other.  Where the heck was he when your toddler was screaming and needed Daddy to put him to bed?  Perhaps Daddy needs to be a better parent.  If you must, let your toddler scream in bed and walk out the door and let DH take care of it.

As for hating you, I don't know.  He probably doesn't.  I used to get so mad a DH, I'd mutter to myself "I hate you with the passion of a thousand white hot suns."  I didn't mean it, but at that time, I was so resentful and so angry, that is how it came out.  Your DH probably needs to learn more healthier ways to express his frustrations and needs to learn to appreciate you are both trying to get by as best you can.[/quote]

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