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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP you are being abused. Not all abuse is physical. He is bringing you down and making you feel like you are worthless so that you actually believe that you are and submit to him and never leave. From what you are saying it sounds like he has already convinced you of it, but you have WORTH and you are a good person.

You need to contact a lawyer and get advice on how to get out. You do not want your child growing up like this, he might be too young now but eventually he will know what is happening. Don't let finances stop you![/quote]

Sorry, but I think you are wrong.  Not all people have worth and not all people are good people.  I took forever to bond with my baby and don't particularly taking care of a baby now, so I'm not a good person.  I much prefer my old life, but that life ended the day I got pregnant.  My life has no worth anymore, it's not about me.[/quote]

To the immediate PP: this is depression talking, please get help. NONE of what you stated makes you a bad or worthless person.  Many, many women don't bond instantly with their children (especially when suffering from PPD which interferes with bonding), and many people don't particularly care for childrearing.  While ultimately rewarding, parenting is a lot of hard work, much of which is simply not objectively enjoyable.

You have worth, your life has worth.  And while you may be in the thick of the 'all about the baby' years, in a few more years there will be more space in your life for you as an individual.

I am a great Mom.  People have said so, my kids tell me so (they say they want to be Moms when they grow up to be like me), and I believe it.

I also had PPD after my first and just last night had such a rough evening that I texted my spouse it was an 'I hate my life' night and that I should have never been a parent.

There is a light at the end of your tunnel.  Please keep going and ask for help until you can see it.[/quote]

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