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[quote=Anonymous]I want to tell them more, I really do. But their reactions have either been hurtful or overwhelming over the years -- even though I know they love me, it's just how they communicate; but that has made me more reserved, more calculating re timing and details etc.

It was even true on little stuff --

In college I was having a hard time with an upper division finance class but was ultimately able to pull out an A -- I tell my dad and he says "but you got a B in calculus, right?"

There was an (paid - so it wouldn't cost them) internship I was trying for that I really wanted. I didn't get it, but the place called me back 1-2 weeks later and offered me a different paid position for the summer, which I took. After I had been working for a few weeks and it was going well -- my boss told me -- we really liked you when we met you, though x just edged you out for that position, so we took a few weeks to see if we could create another paying role for you. I was pretty happy and tell my parents to which my dad says "well if they liked you why didn't they give you the first job."

UGH

And my mom -- who isn't like that -- is just SUCH a planner that she'll drive you crazy with questions. If you say -- I got a 2nd round at this job, it'll be -- when would you start; that would only give you 3 weeks to move; where would you live; what if you wanted to leave that job, would it look bad on your resume. And it's like -- um -- no one has offered me anything, do we have to worry about this now.

And yet despite their reactions, they feel slighted that as a 30-something adult, I don't involve them or ask their opinion or share news with them until the last moment. I feel bad complaining bc I know how much they love me, and I know this is how Asian parents are -- but having not been raised in Asia, I can't always deal . . . .[/quote]

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