Reply to Need Help with My Mental Attitude Towards my DD

Forum Index » Elementary School-Aged Kids

Reply to "Need Help with My Mental Attitude Towards my DD"

Subject:

Emoticons





More smilies

Text Color: Font: Close Marks

[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP here.  These responses are all very helpful, thank you.  I have been wondering about ADHD, and other mental health issues.  She does not seem depressed, in that she readily gets ready for school every day, wants to present herself nicely, wants to be on time for all things, wants to get her homework done (she doesn't love school itself but LOVES her teacher this year thank god).  But yes, one of my sisters has dealt with depression and anxiety over the years, and I've seen her daughter (my niece) go through a lot of what my daughter is doing, and it does worry me.  My niece is now 19, totally directionless, dropped out of college, has no interest in anything but texting, and is living at home with her dad (my sister's ex husband).  Their family situation is very different than mine but I worry that I see certain seeds of similarity.  I guess that was one of the reasons I asked this question in the first place.  I don't want to ignore any burgeoning mental health issues but I also don't want to jump the gun and rush my DD to a therapist just because she's not as outgoing and into activities as other kids, you know?  Like,where is that line between accepting differences and diagnosing them?  I'm not judging any PPs who made that suggestion, honestly.  I appreciate you bringing it up because it has been on my mind.

What would be the first step if we were to get her evaluated?  [b]Also, if there was an ADHD issue or learning disability, wouldn't a teacher raise it with us by now? [/b] DD is in 4th grade.  I have been worried that maybe the reason she never wants to read when I suggest that she pick up a book (now that screens are off limits) is because of a reading disability. But she insists on reading every night before bedtime and when I ask her for the details of books she's reading, she is happy to talk to me about them.  I just don't know.  I feel like I'm overthinking everything and turning myself inside out over a girl who is fine and is just finding her way.

Anyway, any advice on where to start if we did want to get her evaluated would be appreciated. And I appreciate all the PPs about engaging with her to model creativity. That is something we (my DH and I ) admittedly don't do, based on our assumption that kids should just be curious and figure it out themselves. I'm telling you, I was seriously raised by wolves....  [/quote]

And there's your problem right there. Expecting other people to make decisions for you. Just because you were raised by wolves (so was I), have no clue, and no one is telling you what to think, it doesn't mean you should assume everything is all right. Teachers are overwhelmed and are not medical professionals. Plus, ADHD in girls is harder to detect given the fact that they often develop better coping strategies. It's all on you, OP! That's what parents are for, to make the hard decisions about their child's welfare. I know it's very difficult to parse what is normal and what's not. It took me years to convince DH (himself a doctor!) that I wanted to have DS evaluated. 
You can start with asking your pediatrician or the Children with Special Needs forum for a doctor specializing in ADHD. My son was diagnosed by Dr. Conlon, but he has since retired. Expect a parent interview and a test for your DD. I paid $700 out of pocket years ago.

Good luck figuring everything out, OP. [/quote]

I'm trying my best here, folks.  I am perfectly willing and able to make the hard decisions.  I just assumed that schools were on the lookout for ADHD and I guess I was wrong.  Point taken. [/quote]

Don't be too hard on yourself op. The schools and parents work together on this stuff. It could be that the teachers don't raise this issue because you haven't. And if your child is turning in homework and doing ok in school and not having trouble in school (academically or behaviorally), they aren't going to trouble you with it. You sound like you're doing a good job with your kids, and we all know that parenting isn't easy. You care and it shows, so don't be so hard on yourself.[/quote]

Options

	Disable HTML in this message
	Disable BB Code in this message
	Disable smilies in this message

Review message

Search Recent Topics Hottest Topics