Reply to Can't keep sexual interest for more than 2-3 years with anyone

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Anyone can relate? Maybe marriage is really not my thing. [/quote]

DH here, and yes, I can relate.  I think you have to make an effort to work at it.  The "new relationship energy" has a lot to do with:

- infatuation (that's not going to come back)
- not really knowing the person well (you fill in the blanks with your fantasies)
- having other everyday issues/tensions appear
- routine/knowing the ins and outs of your partner.

My advice is to make an effort to:

- really be open and honest about what each of you likes. This requires a lot of vulnerability, but there is a kind of thrill in exposing yourselves.  This means be graphic, explicit, shameless and demanding (selfish) about what you want.  It is the antithesis of having him sweep you up, read your mind and magically do everything you want without you having to ask.  But, it will lead to sex which is more physically gratifying (and really gratifying orgasms do help build the 'lovin' feeling")

- make a huge effort to focus on the positive things about your husband - cultivate positive imagery and push negative stuff out of your mind.  It's hard for men or women to get excited by a partner they've got some negative feelings/resentment about.  At the very least, be careful not to spend a lot of time dwelling on things you don't like.

- be patient - the kid thing is a killer.[/quote]

Another dh here. Agree with all. [/quote]

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