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[quote=Anonymous]OP I don't get sad about having three children close together and fully integrating into our family two more similarly aged beautiful babies from a family member for reasons not relevant to this discussion  But I sometimes get sad when people talk about how bigger families short-change kids.  Why some of my kids will invariably be damaged.  And when we get looks when we go places as if people are judging me for being (well, fill in the gap re everything from being an architect of environmental degradation to not understanding about birth control).  Sometimes strangers have volunteered comments about why they hate the Catholic church (we're not Catholic).  And I find the "but how do you cope?" like nails down a blackboard.

Because the reality is that we deal with the cards we're given.  Some people are lucky enough to find the perfect person early on.  Some people are fortunate enough to have the world's most functional and easy ovaries and uterus.  Some people are blessed to have the perfectly cosmetically sound family.  It strikes me that every element of parenting has become like a competition to justify the decisions one makes.  Spacing, # of kids, BFing, natural childbirth, co-sleeping blah blah blah blah blah.

It's okay to feel sad about something if you think there's something you missed out on for whatever reason.  But the key thing is to recognize that there is nothing that brings out the didactic judgementalism of the insecure than parenting and there will always be something you're doing wrong, have done wrong, don't understand or cannot recognize (at least in some people's opinion).

Not everyone knows all that much about geothermal energy or quantum physics so we let that pass.  But everyone has a child, knows someone with one and can't help but absorb media messages about them.  Just know OP that your child is lucky to have a committed, healthy, thoughtful mom who considers these issues and her emotional reaction to them as something worth thinking about and managing.  I truly believe that numbers are irrelevant if you have a home filled with light, laughter, affection, empathy and a healthy respect for other people.  [/quote]

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