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[quote=Anonymous]OP, I'm like you.  No outsourcing childcare except group care.  It's my line and I refuse to cross it.

That means that DH's job - 10+ hour days, non-negotiable meetings right and left, travel all the time - is the default wage job and my job is the default take-time-off job.  This morning, I was home with DC who was sick.  I dropped her off and ran to work at 1300 and will be here until late because I guilted DH into picking up both kids.  But that is rare for him.

My career is taking a huge hit because I am the default parent.  I know what you are saying and basically - unless you're willing to outsource, it's going to be super hard to lean in.  You, DH, and kids cannot have it all ways.  That is what I am learning right now...it has taken me 2 years to teach myself this.

We are relocating to DC from another intense city and I don't even know, honestly, if I will look for a job for the 2 years we are there.  That's how fed up I am with managing it all.  I'd rather just be a good parent and not suck badly at both parenting and work.

Good luck.[/quote]

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