Reply to Local family not helping when DH was deployed

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Many here seem to be missing the point.  No, it's not BIL's responsibility to help out.  But if he doesn't want to or is not able to help, then he shouldn't be doing the, "oh, I will help out when you are deployed" and "oh, I can probably come over and help you" and then flake out. People who are all talk and no action are the worst.[/quote]

I agree. In his mind, maybe he thinks he gets credit for just offering, regardless if he followed through. He didn't have to help, but since he offered, he should have done something. And I could see how the OP would be annoyed now that her BIL is suddenly involved with her family. This OP didn't expect her BIL to help because her husband is deployed, she expected him to help because he offered.

But one thing to consider is that if he's an otherwise okay person, maybe he does feel guilty that he didn't help. Have you mentioned it to your husband? I don't think there's anything wrong if your husband mentions it to his brother and then see how the BIL reacts.

And [b]I love the post suggesting the the BIL deserves more respect for what he's going through being in grad school then the OP whose husband is deployed[/b].[/quote]

I didn't say it, but I love it too! He's trying to better himself. [/quote]

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