Reply to What one thing will your kids never forgive/forget (and maybe even talk about it therapy)?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I'll go first: I have a feeling that we'll never live down the fact that we moved our son's bedroom to the lower level of our house so that we could open up his main floor bedroom right off the kitchen and turn it into a family room that everyone can use and enjoy. Although he's coming around, mainly because he's a kid who values his privacy (and so didn't really like being too near the kitchen) we think he views it as us sending him to live in a dungeon--which it's not; it's above grade, has it's own bathroom, and he got to design it the way he wants. I do feel guilty about it, though. And it's possible that we could carve out another bedroom for him in our tiny bungalow by dividing the living room, but  DH thinks that if he didn't have the move to the basement to resent us for, he'd find something else![/quote]

I think this is your guilt talking.  In my opinion, the things kids never forgive/forget we are generally oblivious to.  My own experience in therapy has been the events that I found traumatic and really boiled my blood my parents had absolutely no memory of.  Or had a totally different memory of.  (I have normal "middle class parents" for what it's worth).  What I mean is, if I had brought up something like my bedroom being moved when I was in therapy, my mother would have said "What are you talking about, you loved being in the basement!"  And she would have gone on and on about "We should never had put you in summer camp at age 10, that was so traumatic for you" -- something I couldn't care less about.  So OP, you really can't predict what someone else won't forgive/forget.  It could be something that you consider totally harmless but which to them was unforgivable in the context of a ten year old's mind.[/quote]

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