Reply to How to Convince my Husband to go for a third

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Reply to "How to Convince my Husband to go for a third"

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[quote=Anonymous]I haven't read all the repies, because I could sense a fight about to happen (imagine that).

I do think the spouse's wish to not have kids does trump.  Why?  Because it is a child, not a couch.  A child will sense if he/she is not wanted or if he caused the end of a marriage.  A child is something you can't just say "sorry, I said I didn't want it, it's your to take care of" (OK, some selfish people do, but not many)  And a child is a huge, never-ending financial and emotional responsibility.

But, what do you do OP?  First, how in depth have you spoken to your husband?  Can you address any of his concerns?  Is your oldest old enough to start doing small chores (to help deal with the fatigue factor)?  Or can you lay out how you plan to deal with a third child (pick-up, drop-off, activities).  Will all children be limited to X number of activities.  Will your husband still be able to do - whatever it is he needs to do to relax sometimes?  Will your or his parents help out more?   Will the youngest child be in the same age range and be able to play with the other children (or will an older child be old enough to "help" when out with the baby?).

If finances is a factor, is there something that will make the third child "less expensive" (you have all the stuff, maybe your older children will be in school by the time you need to pay for chidcare for the baby, you will agree to only funding part of each child's college education instead of paying for all).

If you can't convince him, how do you deal with your feelings?  First, you give yourself time to mourn the child you will never have.  Then you pull yourself up and put that energy into loving the children you have and appreciate that there are a lot of women who can't have any. You volunteer to help your friends watch their babies or maybe do some babysitting for some extra cash.  And maybe you adopt a kitten or puppy if animals are your thing.

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