Reply to Craving an experience with a woman, but I don't want to hurt my husband!

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[quote=Anonymous]Man here,

I wouldn't be hurt if my wife told me about it first. I found out that my ex-wife was viewing lesbian porn sites when they kept auto-populating in the address bar. She denied it. I started checking the internet history and I saw that she was doing it almost every night after I went to bed. I brought it up, but I decided not to push too hard. I knew her well enough to recognize that it was something that she was trying to figure out within herself. The only thing I asked was that she be honest with herself and let me know sooner than later.

A few years went by before we started having problems. I always wondered if her confusion regarding her sexuality was at the heart of it. Finally, I reached out to her former best friend from college. We worked together at one point and had become close during that time. It was late at night after a fight, and I just got tired of wondering. I told her I needed to know if they were together in college or else I was leaving my wife. She told me the whole story.

I confronted my wife with my new information. I told her that I wouldn't have left her had she just been honest. The two of them were friends before developing romantic feelings. Like something out of a movie, they almost acted on it but stopped just shy of it because my ex-wife couldn't accept it within herself. About two weeks later, we met and started dating. She admitted that she never stopped wondering what could have been, and that even though her friend was the only woman she'd ever been sexually attracted to at the time, she had since developed attraction to both men and women. I told her to go find her closure.

She did. I never found out what happened between the two of them. They went out (with my blessing), and I never asked what happened. Our marriage was never the same (she was different). She cheated a few years later, and has since had relationships with both men and women.

Sorry for the book, but my point is that it's better in my mind if you explore sooner than later. Let your partner know, and just be aware that your one-time affair may have unexpected consequences. [/quote]

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