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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]My son is almost 3 and in an early preschool class with about 15 other 2 and 3 year olds. Yesterday he mentioned something to me in the car after pickup, about "Henry" and "push", and from what I could gather I thought he pushed Henry who had pushed him first. I told him we don't push people, it's not nice and it hurts them, and hurts their feelings and makes them sad.

Come to find out this morning when I dropped him off that he spent all day pushing around a smaller, presumably younger kid, Henry. She said he pushed him several times throughout the day and stood there and "watched him cry." She actually used the term bullying, and I don't disagree. We were standing there with Henry nearby, who took one look at my son and started crying. That broke my heart so much I almost cried myself.

So I stood there and told him that we don't push. It hurts people and hurts their feelings. Look, Henry is crying, he's scared. You don't like being scared do you? You don't push Henry, and you don't push anyone. Ms. So and So will tell me if you've been hurting your friends, and if you are, you will be in trouble at home.

It was very disappointing, and embarrassing, and my first thought is what are we doing wrong at home that he's learning that. Maybe he's learning it from seeing other kids? Maybe he got pushed by someone bigger a different time and doesn't know how to express it except push some other kid? It's a Montessori-esque program and my understanding is they don't do time out and things like that, she said when they caught him doing it they talked to him and said look, you made him sad, we don't hurt our friends, etc.

Should I be concerned here? Should I only be concerned if it keeps happening? He's a "typical" almost-3 year old boy -- gets into plenty of shenanigans at home, has his fair share of not listening to us/outright defiance of what we ask. Maybe I'm delusional and in denial and that's not typical, though?

The other thing is he has not been sleeping well the last week or so (though never a great sleeper, in general). Waking up a lot in the night saying he's scared of shadows, and waking up early in the morning before dawn thinking it's time to get up for the day. Perhaps it's related somehow?

Also, as I said to my husband when I returned home this morning after all of this, I think we need to be more aware of our consistency and how we discipline him at home. DH and I get so frustrated with my son for not listening we've definitely yelled at him, grabbed his arm when trying to get his attention, things that now seem childish and bad lessons in how to communicate with people that he's learning. [/quote]

My son was like this at 3. The preschool teachers said "Three year olds push and hit. What we do as adults is reinforce the 'that's not nice' concept over and over.  He's 20, never been in a fight, and always has the back of other bullied kids. Some kids are simply more impulsive than others.[/quote]

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