Reply to What is "slut shaming" and why is it wrong?

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Reply to "What is "slut shaming" and why is it wrong?"

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]The problem with the "slut shaming" advocates (those that think all consensual sex is fine) is they send a message to young girls that promiscuous sex is fine. Girls often (not every single one) equate sex with love. Once they have sex, they are upset that their partner does not love them. Well, you should have had sex with them if you are going to be upset once they dump you or cheat on you. You put sex on such a low level of importance, like sharing a piece of your meal at dinner, then you want to know why they did not value you.

Also, there are men sluts. Good women will warn their friends against these male slut who often will screw with women's minds and self esteem... all while they perform consensual sex acts.

Women have devalued their bodies so much. It's a shame. Ha! Pun not intended.[/quote]

People who are against "slut shaming" are not advocating promiscuity.  They're saying it is wrong to devalue a person based on their sexual history.  It's wrong to devalue a girl for having sex.

I totally agree that it is a problem that so many people equate sex with love, and I think it is a a problem that so many women devalue their bodies.  But I don't agree that "valuing" your body equates wtih virginity.  And even if a girl devalues HERSELF to the extent that she has lots and lots of sex with men who don't value her in order to gain their approval, that doesn't mean that **I** am going to participate in devaluing her by shaming her for her search for love.  I would tell her I value her, no matter how many guys she has slept with.[/quote]

This.  I might disagree with someone's sexual choices.  I might recognize that a person is making unhealthy sexual choices.  I think there may be very good reasons to delay sexual activity, or to be careful about who you choose to have sex with.  I recognize that sex has serious emotional, physical, and other personal consequences.

But I don't think a person's value is based on how many people they have had (consensual) sex with.  A girl isn't somehow worth less as a person because she's had sex.  [/quote]

I agree with both of you but that is not the message being sent to the younger generation... boys and girls.

I don't think that a girl needs to "stay a virgin" but when I hear a girl has multiple partners or is giving BJ's in the middle of a HS party[b] there is no problem[/b] with a girl being ashamed of her actions. Conversely when a boy is trying to coerce a drunk girl to have sex (not rape but being controlling) he should be ashamed of his actions. [/quote]

There is always a problem with an adult shaming a child. That's what slut-shaming is. If the girl feels ashamed of her actions herself, it's not slut-shaming to say "It sounds like you wish you'd made a different decision. How do you think you can make a decision that you won't feel ashamed of in the future?" It is absolutely a problem to hear about a girl doing what you said (and, because everyone keeps forgetting, those things are not solo endeavors, yet the boys in question never get shamed - not by themselves or anyone else) for an adult to say "she sounds like a slut and I don't want you hanging out with her."[/quote]

I am not sure what planet you are on when boys are not "shamed".

I will absolutely say to my children. I don't want you hanging out with Jane or Joe if they are acting like sluts or if they are doing drugs or if they like to be a menace to society in any sort of way. I have no problem if the other child knows I have made this decision. Sure kids change, and when they do they are welcome back with open arms. But this wow Jane is just making some bad decisions right now you go be a good friend, NOT ... does not work in HS. Kids need to pick good friends and if a friends starts sleeping around or doing drugs or getting in trouble my kids will steer clear of that person. Ever hear of guilt by association, parents know... teachers know. Too bad, if you want friends stop making bad decisions. [/quote]

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