Reply to feeling hurt about husband and mother-in-law's behavior

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I am from a big Irish Catholic family. We have our share of functioning alcoholics but we've all gone to therapy. My husband is exactly as 11:55 describes. He thinks he is Mr. Mom. My dad is an amazing father. Managing partner in a law firm, always at all of our school events and home with us every night, adoring and devoted to my mom throughout multiple types of cancer. My husband is a "nice guy" but I realize that there is a reason he was single. His behavior is so appaling to me I really am dreading going home.

They are staying at our house all week. I really do not feel like hosting them. They are critical and negative and I am looking forward to my son's party.

My husband really needs therapy. He and his family think since his dad went to outpatient rehad he is "cured". I have offered to go to Al-Anon with him and he refused. I have gone to therapy since being a teenager. My husband did premarital counseling for our respective churches but that is it. [/quote]

Do not host them, then, OP.  Do not.  Go home tonight and say, "It will no longer be possible for you to stay with us in our home.  I recommend _______ hotel and would be happy to help you make reservations."

She will hate you for it, but she already hates you and she's already a horrible person.  You haven't been to enough therapy if you have no idea how to draw boundaries with this person.  Stop being so passive.  Your DH is not willing to step up and protect your family from his parents' dysfunction.  So it's your job.  It sucks and you will be the bad guy to them, but you need to step up.  Your kids don't deserve this.  Stop it now.  Get them out of your house.  YOU are the mom.  It's your home, too.  [/quote]

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