Reply to Rude and disrespectful 8 y/o

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Discipline begins at birth not when kid is 8.5 yrs. Old.  By discipline. I mean you learn to say "no," "NO."  tone of voice depends on what kid is doing.  You, OP, allowed disrespect all these years or he wouldn't be acting like this now.[/quote]

This is crazy!

Kids push boundaries, it's what they do. Adults model good behavior and teach coping skills.

Most PP sound so egotistical and self-absorbed-- respect, respect, respect.  All kids need to learn how to handle frustration and the negative feelings that come with it. Simply banning them or banishing them does not teach them these skills. It may feel good, sounds like a bit of a power trip, but when my 8yp talks back or is rude, I point it out and give her a chance to rectify the situation.

Rude to you and no playdates or favorite foods for a week? What a nut job.

A lot of kids need to learn that their words and gestures can hurt. You should teach them this.

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Not that poster, but...

The things other posters have suggested do teach them this. No one suggested 'banishing' a kid without them knowing what they did wrong and why it was wrong. People in our family have a right to be treated with courtesy and not rudeness, so someone who persists in rudeness is not welcome around the rest of the group until they can behave properly. My child does not have the right to subject others to poor treatment simply out of anger or annoyance.

Someone who treats others rudely in life will probably not have other people wanting to do them any favors. I know I don't generally feel inclined to go out of my way for people who treat me badly. Playdates, specific favorite foods, electronics use, fun family outings, and the like are not necessities or rights. They are privileges, and if they are not earned through (at least) behaving with basic courtesy then they can be revoked for a time.
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