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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I grew up in a very abusive, fucked up family.  One brother escaped through the military and I escaped through college.  When I was 20 (by this time my father was gone), I completely cut off my younger (by 15 months) brother.  He was heavily into drugs and engaged in criminal behavior.   He was prone to violent outbursts and had some sort of mental illness.  I loved him very much but the risk of it pulling me down was too great.  During one of his stints in jail, my mother and I agreed that if he were to come back home, he'd have to stop drinking and doing drugs.  He couldn't do them at home and if he did them somewhere else, he had to stay there.  My mother was his chief enabler and so it didn't take long for him to begin using again at home.  I then cut off contact with her. [b] I felt like I needed to do that because I was struggling so much myself.[/b]  I had 3 jobs which gave me more than full time hours and the flexibility to also go to school full time - as well as income.  I was working so hard to keep my shit together and create a better life for myself [b]that I didn't want to get drawn into an emotional cesspool.[/b]  My brother killed himself a year later.  I don't regret cutting off contact with him.  It was very much a 'secure your own oxygen mask first' kind of thing.  He was so far gone and I wasn't in a position to help him.  My memories of him are all wrapped in sorrow.  None of us deserved how we grew up.[/quote]

PP, I can totally relate. For me the realization came one year when I came home for Thanksgiving. yuk. and it was just suffocating. only sensible way to survive[/quote]

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