Reply to If your mother and father in-law came over from out of state unannounced.

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Reply to "If your mother and father in-law came over from out of state unannounced."

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[quote=Anonymous]You and your husband need to manage this.  If you don't address it directly, and just smirk and harbor resentment without laying down some guidelines, then why would anything change?

Decide whether you'll have the conversation with them together or whether your husband will handle it directly.

Then say:

dear Mom/MIL.  We love having you be a regular part of the kids' lives.  We hope they grow up knowing you well, and having really deep relationships with you and we will work to make sure that happens.

We cannot, however, accommodate unannounced visits.  If you want to come see us, and stay over night, you need to let us know so we can make sure it works with our schedule and plans.

let's get your next visit scheduled now - we have wide open weekends XX, XX, and XX - do any of those work for you?

You need to handle this like adults - not just with passive responses.

I have soooo BTDT with this and it has taken us a while (and frankly, we have to be diligent about maintaining boundaries) but we've finally gotten some more respectful behavior around visits and lengths of stay.

Good luck![/quote]

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