Reply to I don't need therapy for this, but here's what I want to do.

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Reply to "I don't need therapy for this, but here's what I want to do."

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[quote=Anonymous]
OP - I would as you need to focus on your well-being and start with a full physical by your PCP or even a brand new doctor and "fresh set of eyes/ears."  In doing so if nothing physical is defined for how you are feeling, get a referral to a therapist who can at least do a full scale evaluation of you for depression etc.  At the same time I would also try and get out for some daily exercise like walking.  You posting seems to indicate that English may not be your first language so if your background in any way makes you feel isolated, do address this with a therapist as well as how you feel towards your family.  You may be unable to see the possible deep hurt and disruption you will bring to your sons' lives, too, when it "might be" a case of you dealing with a physical chemical imbalance in yourself or other aspects of mental health first.

You say you have a part=time job and could move to full-time, but you may want to recalculate the math again  in terms of the very nice home and lifestyle you have with DH and the boys to see if you really could replicate it on your sole salary.  Also, remember that you have no idea how your sons will really react to your leaving and they may not want anything to do with you so any idea of being a 50% custodial parent might be a new hell you create for a few years for all of you.

DH and especially your teenage sons may not realize how their comradery has seeming excluded you or closed you out at least in your mind.  This is one area for you to address when you feel stronger and more in control of yourself.  Simply removing your physical self from the painful surrounding which may only or as stridently in"your perception" will not end the relationship pain you feel.  Teenagers are teenagers and to deal with it any parent needs to be able to cope.  You sound very just rundown and out of gas emotionally.
OP you need to give time to yourself and by doing so will give time to your family, too.[/quote]

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