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Parenting -- Special Concerns
Reply to "Working Mom Question - Adoption"
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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP, I'm not an adoptive mother. So my assumption that you are not likely to have significant attachment issues with a newborn is not based on actual experience. But it's what I believe. So IMO your question has to do with going back to work on a staggered schedule, with excellent family care in place for the baby, earlier than the "conventional" 3 month period. And in my opinion that will be totally fine. I also hold a senior management position where a full three months out of the job would be significantly detrimental to my organization. It also wasn't something I wanted to do - for my own reasons having to do with my sanity, my career, my idea of who I am as a multi-faceted person, etc... I had twins, after a long, complicated struggle with infertility. I worked up until the day I delivered, I kept an eye on a handful of critical things by email starting when they were about 2 days old, and I kept some level of engagement through email and the occasional phone call, or even a staff person bringing a couple of things to my house to sign, starting within a week of their birth. I went back into the office for a couple of half-time days during the time the babies were 4-12 weeks old, with increasing frequency in the 2-3 month range. I went back to work full-time at roughly the 14 week mark but I had been ramping up my time for a few weeks prior to that, and was able to maintain essentially a 4 day week for several weeks following. My employer was quite flexible about how I allocated my leave, allowed me to do a bit more from home than would normally have been typical, and allowed me to stagger my leave over a 5 month period, rather than just 3. In return I was never fully absent from my responsibilities so could maintain a couple of the most critical functions, my transition back to work was considerably smoother, and I managed to keep up a side of my self intellectually that really matters to me. The babies thrived throughout and our whole family (and my employer) thrived as well. It can absolutely be done. So, while I can't speak to the adoption issue, I absolutely support your plan. Do what is right for you. And preserving some leave is very smart - the baby will get sick, your childcare providers will get sick, life will happen - knowing you have some time banked is like knowing your have a savings fund. It's peace of mind. Congrats on the baby!!![/quote] Thank you for sharing your experience. What were the pitfalls, if any? What would you have done differently in hindsight?[/quote] Honestly there were no pitfalls, and no significant regrets. If I had learned to use the mute function better on my phone it would have saved me from the embarrassment of my Board Chair hear squeaky toys in the background of a conference call, but that's about it. :-) It really worked out beautifully for me, and for my work colleagues. The only thing I would say is that you need to do what is right and best for you and your family and not let yourself be side-tracked by the opinions of others. I had plenty of people tell me (especially in advance of the twins' birth) that my plan was unrealistic, that I wouldn't be able to do any work while dealing w/ twin infants, that I would never be ready to go back to work, that I wouldn't find a nanny I could trust, etc.... They were wrong. It worked brilliantly. You know yourself, your work situation, your marriage, etc... Do what feels right in your gut and you'll be great.[/quote]
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