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[quote=Anonymous][quote]OP here. My bigger concern is being with the baby exclusively for three months and then having to jump right back into the throes of my routine, which will give me less time to spend with the baby than I would like at 3 months and beyond. From what I have read and discussed with other adoptive moms with older children, that is a pitfall that can interfere with your ability to give the baby your undivided attention beyond the first twelve weeks. I am also considering the transition for my biological child so that he can attach with the baby well. I feel like I'd be setting him up for sibling rivalry if, at 12 weeks, mom is suddenly thrust into working mom mode and he is fighting for my attention b/c I feel guilty I haven't seen the baby all day. Is it really such a radical idea to space out your leave to allow you more undivided opportunities with the baby over a longer period of time? [/quote]

Honestly, OP, this doesn't sound like and adoptive parent issue vs. bio parent issue.  it sounds like a "having a second child issue" for a WOHM especially being concerned about your first-born and his feeling left out because mom and dad come home and spend a lot of time with baby.  that happens to first borns whether the sibling is adopted or not.

Attachment issues (like almost everyone except crazy attachment poster agrees) is not a bigger issue for adopted newborns over bio newborns.  It simply isn't.  We have 2 kids one a tween and another teen. One adopted the other not.  Treated them the same (actually had to go to work earlier with adopted kid) and there are absolutely NO attachment issues with either one.

I liked the other poster's suggestion of staying in contact with the office while on leave,but also I don't think you're going to avoid the guilt of going back to work, the struggle to give both kids attention when you get home and the balancing act that goes with 2 kids and a full time job.  hang in there and congrats to your new baby!![/quote]

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