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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Working mom of two adopted children here.  (intl adoption, China, one adopted at age 3, one adopted at age 2)

I think you will be fine.  Just do the best you can.  Yes, as the person above me posted, DO read a TON about attachment.  Do all of the activities and things the books suggest when you are with them.  Co-sleep if you can, to enhance the bonding.

My children went/go to daycare 8 weeks after we brought them home, and that has worked for us, but I understand that sounds crazy when I see it written down here in black and white, but it did work out.  And I understand that yours will be younger (so I agree that family care at that point may be better than daycare center care) but just watch the bonding/attachment issues.  [/quote]

PP back.  Go in with this plan, but keep it flexible.  Monitor how things seem to be going attachment-wise.  Be flexible and able to change if you change your mind later and think you should take the FMLA and be there exclusively with your new child.[/quote]

I have read about attachment, and we will be bringing home a 3-day old newborn, so it will be very different from a child who has been in the foster situation without a consistent and stable caregiver.

[/quote]

You are correct.  We too brought home a three-day old.  No attachment issues.[/quote]

All newborns have "attachment issues." It's a fundamental part of all human psychosocial development. That's why skin-to-skin is so important, co-sleeping, time...it's why FMLA is there in the first place and why people lobbied for "maternity" leave to be extended to fathers and adoptive parents.

Trying to work your newborn into your schedule is crazy. It's either a priority or not. I'm a big believer in family involvement and am aware of Ainsworth's work on attachment that broadened our understanding of secure bonding beyond the mother/child paradigm. But, honey, I'd spend more time with a new handbag than what you've got planned for this baby.

Take the full 12 weeks, or take 11 and arrange for a once-a-week work-from-home situation for the rest. 
[/quote]

Humm... our child is adopted.  We did not do attachment parenting, did not co-sleep, child has always slept in his room.  So, then why is our child so attached to us?  I think most of what you are saying is bs and you are just doing it to justify your needs vs. your child's needs.  And, comparing a child to a handbag is strange, at best. What OP is describing is fine.   [/quote]

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