Reply to Advice for starting to date again after breakup? Looking for the right man.

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]

Wouldn't you pretty much know this the first time you slept together?  If you were sexually compatible, would you keep sleeping with multiple women at the same time?  What's the rationale for that?  If you knew after the first time that you weren't sexually compatible, would you break up?  I'm not OP, but I'm very uncomfortable sleeping with a partner who is actively sleeping with other partners.  Even if you use a condom it really elevates the risk of STD transmission.  If I have sex with a partner, what I want to know is that during the period we have sex together, you are not also having sex with someone else.  We might have sex once and break up after that because we aren't compatible, or we might sleep together and continue to see each other for awhile, but I would expect that you are not sleeping with someone else.  Oddly, I would be OK with either of continuing to date if one of us wasn't willing to commit to the relationship overall even while we were sleeping together, as long as the other relationships didn't progress to intercourse. [/quote]

From the first time?  Maybe.  Depends on how it goes.  Every situation is different.

[b]Me personally, I don't sleep with multiple women at the same time.  So I'm not going to be considered in a relationship with anyone I have not slept with and that I enjoy the sex with.  I also won't continue to date someone if they aren't interested in sleeping with me by the 3-4th date (of course the type of date is important)[/b].

Not sexually compatible after first date.  I would not continue dating them.  I'd tell them I'm not interested but would have no problem remaining friends and hanging out (which won't happen anyway).

Some men will not be exclusive to one partner while just dating.  Some will be fine with just dating/sleeping with one woman.  I enjoy one at a time.  I'm not trying to increase the notches on my headboard.  I'm trying to find someone compatible and I do that one woman at a time.[/quote]

I'm just confused here. You say you won't commit to a relationship with a woman before you sleep with her and determine if you're sexually compatible. However, the bolded says you don't sleep with multiple women at the same time. If that is true, then you are in fact only sleeping with women you have an exclusive relationship with, because you are only sleeping with one woman at a time, regardless of how short that time may be. Am I missing something? Is it all in the terminology? Or is it just that you won't tell the woman you are exclusive, even though you are actually behaving in a sexually exclusive manner.

You also said above you would not continue dating someone if you aren't sexually compatible after the first date - but you say you're OK with waiting till date 3 or 4 for sex. How do you determine sexual compatibility on the first date if you don't have sex with them till the 3rd or 4th?

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