Anonymous
Post 01/19/2015 16:13     Subject: Advice for starting to date again after breakup? Looking for the right man.
Alright DCUM readership - after exchanging a couple of good emails with Larla, radio silence so looks like no date in the offing to tell you guys of and no thread.

Sorry we couldn't out-do wapo date lab.

Anonymous
Post 01/11/2015 13:09     Subject: Advice for starting to date again after breakup? Looking for the right man.
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I'm a graduate school educated, 31-year-old woman with a fun-loving personality. I am attractive, young looking (carded 90 percent of the time), family oriented, and enjoy the arts, concerts, restaurants, museums, travel, etc. I would like to find the right guy to spend my life with -- someone supportive, loving, intelligent, funny, and easy on the eyes with similar interests. I want to get married and have children, but am not laser-focused on it. I'm not that type.

I was in a long term (several years) relationship with someone my age that did not work out and now am back on the market. I have not dated in a while and have no idea where to start. The breakup is fresh, so I may wait a few weeks before dipping my toe in.

Any advice for me?


want to meet up OP? I'm similar to you but a year or two younger than you. Let's meet up for drinks or coffee and then give a report to DCUM. It can be one of those Wapo date match type articles.







Haha. Send me a little more info about yourself to edithmsedgwick@yahoo.com (obviously, not my real name) and I will consider it.


Sent OP. By the way , I would think you would pick 'larla' as your cover instead of 'edith'.


For the DCUM readership, Larla (not going to call her Edith) responded.

Initial thoughts: Larla seems to be a normal, measured, cultured, and educated DC woman. Her 'profile' is pretty typical of those that I come across on okc or within my social circle. The problem with women like her is not them per se, but there is a glut of their 'type' in this dating market. If Larla was in Seattle, SF, Denver, or SD for example, she would have a 150 guys at her beck and call.

I have asked her to meet up for coffee or a drink this week.

Let's see what she thinks of my response. This is even better than wapo matchmaking articles because you guys are getting quasi real-time updates.

Anonymous
Post 01/10/2015 06:32     Subject: Advice for starting to date again after breakup? Looking for the right man.
From what you described to us, you sound like quite a catch. I don't see you really having a problem finding and keeping a quality man at all.

You sound attractive, educated, childless and have never been married thus no baggage. You have a positive and energetic personality to boot and you sound like a true go-getter who just enjoys life and all life has to offer.

And your expectations from a man seem pretty on par with what someone in your position would want.

So I say...You will be just fine on your own.

Just make sure you are completely over your previous relationship first before you start to date. No one wants to be a rebound.

Good luck and have fun!~
Anonymous
Post 01/10/2015 05:41     Subject: Re:Advice for starting to date again after breakup? Looking for the right man.
You should really try out some online dating. There are lots of dating websites on the web but you should be aware of scam ones. But some of the reliable ones to, like mymagicbrides. This is a website where my friend has found his love. She is a very lovely Russian girl, I really like her He was desperate too, but he made it. So, good luck you too
Anonymous
Post 01/10/2015 04:46     Subject: Advice for starting to date again after breakup? Looking for the right man.
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I'm a graduate school educated, 31-year-old woman with a fun-loving personality. I am attractive, young looking (carded 90 percent of the time), family oriented, and enjoy the arts, concerts, restaurants, museums, travel, etc. I would like to find the right guy to spend my life with -- someone supportive, loving, intelligent, funny, and easy on the eyes with similar interests. I want to get married and have children, but am not laser-focused on it. I'm not that type.

I was in a long term (several years) relationship with someone my age that did not work out and now am back on the market. I have not dated in a while and have no idea where to start. The breakup is fresh, so I may wait a few weeks before dipping my toe in.

Any advice for me?


want to meet up OP? I'm similar to you but a year or two younger than you. Let's meet up for drinks or coffee and then give a report to DCUM. It can be one of those Wapo date match type articles.







Haha. Send me a little more info about yourself to edithmsedgwick@yahoo.com (obviously, not my real name) and I will consider it.


Sent OP. By the way , I would think you would pick 'larla' as your cover instead of 'edith'.
Anonymous
Post 01/09/2015 20:46     Subject: Re:Advice for starting to date again after breakup? Looking for the right man.
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:

Wouldn't you pretty much know this the first time you slept together? If you were sexually compatible, would you keep sleeping with multiple women at the same time? What's the rationale for that? If you knew after the first time that you weren't sexually compatible, would you break up? I'm not OP, but I'm very uncomfortable sleeping with a partner who is actively sleeping with other partners. Even if you use a condom it really elevates the risk of STD transmission. If I have sex with a partner, what I want to know is that during the period we have sex together, you are not also having sex with someone else. We might have sex once and break up after that because we aren't compatible, or we might sleep together and continue to see each other for awhile, but I would expect that you are not sleeping with someone else. Oddly, I would be OK with either of continuing to date if one of us wasn't willing to commit to the relationship overall even while we were sleeping together, as long as the other relationships didn't progress to intercourse.


From the first time? Maybe. Depends on how it goes. Every situation is different.

Me personally, I don't sleep with multiple women at the same time. So I'm not going to be considered in a relationship with anyone I have not slept with and that I enjoy the sex with. I also won't continue to date someone if they aren't interested in sleeping with me by the 3-4th date (of course the type of date is important).

Not sexually compatible after first date. I would not continue dating them. I'd tell them I'm not interested but would have no problem remaining friends and hanging out (which won't happen anyway).

Some men will not be exclusive to one partner while just dating. Some will be fine with just dating/sleeping with one woman. I enjoy one at a time. I'm not trying to increase the notches on my headboard. I'm trying to find someone compatible and I do that one woman at a time.


I'm just confused here. You say you won't commit to a relationship with a woman before you sleep with her and determine if you're sexually compatible. However, the bolded says you don't sleep with multiple women at the same time. If that is true, then you are in fact only sleeping with women you have an exclusive relationship with, because you are only sleeping with one woman at a time, regardless of how short that time may be. Am I missing something? Is it all in the terminology? Or is it just that you won't tell the woman you are exclusive, even though you are actually behaving in a sexually exclusive manner.

You also said above you would not continue dating someone if you aren't sexually compatible after the first date - but you say you're OK with waiting till date 3 or 4 for sex. How do you determine sexual compatibility on the first date if you don't have sex with them till the 3rd or 4th?