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[quote=Anonymous]Thanks for all the replies, PPs. I never wanted to use anti-depressants because the one time I did I didn't like the effect they had on me, but maybe I'll give it another go. At least for anxiety.

I just grew up feeling hopelessly inferior and self-critical. My parents were very kind but everyone else around me measured me by things like grades, beauty, things like that. I don't want to blame outside factors for my issues though, I think this is something I am responsible for OR it's just genetic wiring. Or both hah.

I am slowly, SLOWLY, trying to grow the "I don't give a fuck what you think" attitude and to some extent it is working. Recently it surprised me: I finally decided to stop letting people make me feel bad because I went to a small community college (nervous wreck/severe depression in high school, below 3.0 GPA, did great things for my self-esteem). I used to hunch over and break eye contact when I told people I went to a community college or when I was around people with elite educations. Finally I just said to myself: "How dare they make me feel bad about going to community college? I'm pretty cool and they should accept me for who I am, and if they don't they can fuck off."

It worked - for about an hour. Then I was back to being self-conscious, anxious, negative, etc. But for that one hour or so it was like a revelation. Lol.

I slide right back into the cycle. Will look for a new therapist, didn't like my old one.[/quote]

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