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[quote=Incognita][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP, initial attraction dwindles. That's just a fact of life. People either accept it or seek sttraction elsewhere just to see it dwindle away. Decide what's important to you and pick your poison. Very few, if any, get to have it all.[/quote]

Initial attraction wanes. But that's too simplistic. You have to understand what your spouse finds attractive - like really attractive - not just what they think make good qualities in a person. You have to work on maintaining or reviving those attractive qualities in yourself. And you have to work on seeing those qualities you find attractive in your spouse. [/quote]

I agree. It's insufficient to say well there are phases, take a backseat, wait it out. We have to target the things that aren't working and actively change them. Relationships are dynamic, attraction is dynamic. OP just needs to figure out the core and where to work his angle. I'm sure most of us are married to our best friends, but doesn't mean our marriage should shift into a platonic dwelling. [/quote]

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