Reply to Vacation with childless friends = disaster

Forum Index » Infants, Toddlers, & Preschoolers

Reply to "Vacation with childless friends = disaster "

Subject:

Emoticons





More smilies

Text Color: Font: Close Marks

[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP, did they actually *say* anything judgmental?  Or are you just interpreting "stares"?

We don't have children, but we have friends with children, and we spend time with them.  Their kids have had meltdowns in front of us.  We've had to cut short activities/dinners to accommodate the children.  We've sat in restaurants with their toddlers screaming bloody murder.

But we have never judged them.  If we are guilty of staring, it is because we are just as clueless AS THEY ARE about how to make the child stop screaming.

If anything, we probably give them looks of sympathy, as in "how do you deal with this all.of.the.time???"

We aren't ignorant or naive.  We know kids cry for no reason sometimes, get tired and meltdown, reach a point (especially when they are removed from their regular routine) at which they are pretty much inconsolable.

So I'm not so certain your friends were judging you.  But that didn't stop you from a post wherein YOU judge all childfree/childless couples, and then PPs pile on with the judgment.

That said, you were the one who suggested the trip.  You don't know if perhaps they had reservations about going on a vacation with a 2 year old.  Most couples who are childfree are childfree for a reason -- it's not that they judge parents; it's that they actively choose not to have a kid because they don't want to spend 24 hours a day dealing with that kind of thing.

We do plenty of things with our friends who have children.  And we love their children.  We don't judge them.

But we would NEVER agree to a vacation that involved spending a few days, 24 hours a day, with them and their kids, because our vacation time is limited and precious, and we wouldn't want it to be dominated/dictated by a 2 year old.

There's no judgment.  It's just a choice we make.

And to the PPs who are saying nasty things about childfree couples being envious, one of the reasons I feel like I'm leaning toward being permanently childfree is BECAUSE of the time I've spent with other people and their children and the realization that it just isn't something I want.  And I simply don't believe that "because I don't want to be alone when I'm old" is a good enough reason on its own to have children.  Not to mention, I know many old people who seem very lonely, despite the fact that they have adult children.

It's ridiculous to, on the one hand, get upset because you feel childfree couples are *judging* you and then return that with a bunch of judgment.

Different people make different choices.  If you want to only be friends with people who think exactly like you do, then fine.  Otherwise, you learn how to figure out boundaries and limitations and try to be accommodating.  So maybe that only means daytrips with your childfree friends and not full blown vacations.

And if you don't think other parents will give you judgmental looks when your kid is having a meltdown, then you are naive.  If anything, I think childfree people are far more sympathetic and less judgmental of parenting than other parents.[/quote]

I'm curious, why are you hanging out on this board if you don't have kids?[/quote]
Not PP, but I first found this site through a google search result on something unrelated. If you click on recent topics, you see discussions on all of the boards. It's not so unusual.[/quote]

Options

	Disable HTML in this message
	Disable BB Code in this message
	Disable smilies in this message

Review message

Search Recent Topics Hottest Topics