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[quote=Anonymous]It goes both ways in my family. My mom overbuys almost to the point of compulsivity, which is nice in a way but also is wasteful. My son has a ridiculously full closet, full of stuff he wears now and stuff for later. His bookshelf is overflowing. She buys toys when they go on sale and saves them for later in the year. Buying things is the way she shows love.

My MIL is the opposite. She is extremely tight with money with DS but has always been extremely generous with her other 2 grandchildren. Although it isn't about the material things, it still can be hurtful to hear what she does for the other 2 that she doesn't do for DS. She came in for the holidays and asked if I had any wrapped gifts that I hadn't given to him yet because she really wanted him to open a gift from her. Yes, you read that correctly. She wanted us to provide a gift for her to give to DS so that she could get "credit" for giving him a present. Then this morning she went on at length about the expensive birthday present she is getting for one of her other grandchildren in March.

This was a long way of saying that I've experienced both extremes. As much as I dislike extra "stuff", I like knowing that my mom is thinking about my son so often that she is constantly finding things for him. As opposed to my MIL who I feel can't really be bothered. I told her a few things he is into lately and she couldn't find time in her busy (retired) schedule to go to any kind of store and find something to give to him. I'd be lying if I said it hasn't affected our relationship. It's not the material aspect, but the lack of thought that bothers me.

As time goes by, you can tell your MIL what you need and what you don't. Maybe provide some limits? Like more clothes and books and fewer toys? My mom likes it when I give her something specific that I really need, like socks or pajamas. Then she gets to give, which she loves, but it's actually stuff we need.

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