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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP, you're a good mom and your strength and courage will inspire your kids for the rest of their lives. We went through something similar when I was in HS and my 2 siblings were also in MS and ES. We went from a very nice home to living in my grandparents basement. My mom at the time only made 14k a year w 3 kids, and we bought a very very modest home in a so so neighborhood. I won't lie, the economic change was a bit shocking for me in particular since I was the oldest. BUT, we were never happier. My mom was happy and calm, and that brought happiness and peace to my siblings. It made me wish that the desperation/divorce happened long before. Any issues me/my siblings have dealt with as adults have been due to the problems that arose during that stressful time of my parents marriage. While we had very very little, all our clothes from thrift stores, etc...happiness and peace healed many of the wounds and united us as a family. In the end, my mom saved money and bought a lovely house after a few years in another neighborhood. The economic hardships we had earlier somehow translated into all 3 of us being not too materialistic, really hard workers and actually thankfully quite successful. And you know what, we all are so proud of our mom. So proud and so thankful. And my Dad? He's the same. 20 years later and he's the same. The best thing my mom ever did was let him
GO. I had to deal with the pain of his non fathering behavior, but as soon as I allowed myself to accept him for a flawed human being and that's he's really more like a distant relative, I was able to move on. His family, also super dysfunctional. My mom didn't ask for much from him. He was the high earner but she didn't fight ( she should have).  She let him just get away and it was a blessing. Much love to you and your kids. [/quote]

OP, I just want to add that I have a similar story to this person. As a child, my mom and sibling and I went from living with my dad to living with my mom's parents for a few months, to sharing rent on a crappy little house with one of my mom's best friends who was also going through a divorce. We then lived in poverty for the next 10 years, with government assistance getting us by. It might sound awful, and I can only imagine how hard it was for my mom, as it is for you. But she was strong like you and never complained, even when we had no car and she had no job and only a roof over our heads because the landlord let us get behind in rent and didn't throw us out. But I still had a wonderful childhood. My mom loved us so dearly and told us that all the time, she was fun and a wonderful example to us kids. We also are adults now who have little value for material things, but we are very very close and always there for each other. My sibling and I are also successful, hard working and happy adults. And my dad is also still the same as he ever was. Although at first after the separation my sibling and I missed him terribly, by the time we were teens we were totally onto his game. And I can't tell you how many regrets he lives with now for screwing it all up. He's a very sad, pathetic lonely old man. I don't say that with any glee - it actually makes me very sad to think how his life has ended up - but just that you are going to be ok and even better without him.[/quote]

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