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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Op here : these people are elderly now. And again? It's inexplicable why after several 
Visits in between my daughter's reticence I am now just having a "no" moment. It's less frankly worry 
About whether something would happen - elderly person - it's more the never an acknowledgment ever, and
It was minor but effected me. But I don't think I can tell them - how should I handle holiday? 
This desire is really out of clear blue to say today is day I look 
Back at that time and say I remember being so uncomfirtable. [/quote]

OP I'm just going to say this to you straight: you sound like even after 3 pages of "trust your gut!  protect your child!  Do not leave your child alone with this person EVER!" you are STILL determined to find a reason to not do anything different and not say anything.  You sound like you are trying to talk yourself out of having to act.

I don't know what that's about, but I need to ask you the same question someone else did: if you try to squash your concerns about this, you don't change anything, you allow this relative to have access to your daughter, and something bad happens, how will you feel?  Why are you willing to take the risk?

There are several degrees of boundary setting that are possible here.  You do NOT need to cut off all contact, stop visiting, etc.  You probably DO need to shorten your visits, and be VIGILANT and never ever leave your daughter alone in the home with that relative.  Which includes leaving her alone with the relative and that relative's immediate family.  Once your daughter leaves your sight, you have no idea who will allow what access.

It's not a very fun way to spend the holidays, following your little girl everywhere, but if you cannot bring yourself to just not visit, then this is what you must do.

I'm very concerned about the way you're backpeddling and sounding like you're looking for ANY reason to just do what you always do.  What will you do if your daughter is harmed?  And you considered trying to prevent it, and then talked yourself out of it?  That would not be fair to her or to you.  Protect your child.[/quote]

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