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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP here - the last few visits have become so outrageous that it caused serious arguments between DH and me. We finally had a talk (not our first, but the most serious) about the issue. That is why this visit will only be 7 days. What I'm saying is this is already as good as it's going to get.

I'm so anxiety-ridden about this that I can't think about anything else. I guess I don't understand how everyone else who has IL problems and whose ILs live out of town deals with visits.  Am I just not thinking about this right? MIL wants to be treated as a guest but simultaneously wants to be in charge. I wish I could take the kids and go away for the week.[/quote]

Your ILs are causing serious arguments with your DH AND you are incredibly anxiety-ridden about this. And yet your DH will not do anything differently?

My ILS live ten freaking minutes away and I see them about 4 times a year because that is all I can take. And DH supports me on this. If ILs want to see DH or the kids, they need to plan it (and I do not need to accompany them). I no longer let their guilt, criticism, selfishness, etc. affect me. When MIL emails me or texts me, I hit the delete button.

You need to stand up for yourself and for your marriage. Do not let your ILs do this to you! If your DH is unwilling to discuss, then off to couples counseling you both go!

Zoo Lights - go without them. Winter lights - go once as a family before ILs arrive. Christmas present opening wakes them up?!?! Of course it does. Send ILs a list of hotels they can stay so they get their much needed rest.[/quote]

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