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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]The elders in the family set the tone of how things go - whether you like the word matriarch or not.  She can find ways to bring everyone together, suggest a fun event or rent a beach house for a week.  Many families have parents or elders who plan for ways to bring people together.  Others choose to sulk at the fact that no one gets along and just make plans separately with everyone or not at all.  When the children are not raised to value relationships and togetherness, they don't make it a priority.  You have to set an example and that is the responsibility of the elders/matriarch/patriarch whatever you want to call it.[/quote]

I don't "sulk."  But I also don't like fake and forced "togetherness."  You don't have to spend a week at the beach with your inlaws to teach your children to value relationships.  And it's not your MIL's responsibility to teach YOUR child to value the things YOU want YOUR child to value.

If you want to plan events and bring people together, then go for it.  But you can't force people to like each other.  And that's another lesson children should understand.  You also can't force people to have the same vision of how things should be that you have.  And you shouldn't resent them for it either.  [/quote]

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