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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]We have had Thanksgiving with my in-laws for the past 17 years.  My MIL plans out everything in advance (the table is most likely set already for next week), and every food is prepared before Thursday.  This makes for a boring Thanksgiving day that has no bonding over the preparation of food, which I find to be enjoyable.  Over the last few years, my sister-in-law and I have planned in advance with our mother-in-law to make desserts with the kids on Thursday morning.  We told her we want to help and that the kids enjoy baking.  The morning turns out to be a pajama baking fest with the parade on in the background and is now one of my favorite traditions for a holiday that was so automated for so many years.  I think what worked was discussing in advance that we desire the shared experiences of cooking.

As for the wine, my in-laws only buy sparkling white wine.  My sister-in-law and I bring at least two bottles each, and we put them on the table at meal time.  My advice is to insist on your wine.  Life is too short to drink crappy wine.

We appeal to our husbands (they are brothers) to talk to their parents about incorporating new things into the holiday, but they are a quiet and passive bunch, and I it is not a battle I choose to have him fight (if that is the correct characterization).  My sister-in-law and I found solidarity in each other and made our little inroads.  If you are able to find a like-minded family member, perhaps you can achieve your own little sparks of joy around the holiday and at the very least have someone with whom you can vent.

Good luck![/quote]

What is up with people cooking Thanksgiving in advance??? Why? The hustle of cooking is the biggest joy on Thanksgiving to me. My MIL cuts the turkey days in advance and reheats it in the oven that morning. I really miss my dad standing over the table at Thanksgiving and carving the turkey.[/quote]

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