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[quote=Anonymous]Sounds like he has poor boundaries and wants everything open between you.  Also he wants you to own his problems.  Tell him we each can own our own problems.  You want the shampoo that way, then line it up like that before your shower.  It's not a priority for me and nobody I know thinks about how shampoo is lined up and I won't either.  I have my own problems and sometimes I need to sit with them on my own to figure out how to deal with them or let them go.  My husband does not like it when I keep secrets but I do anyway.  You should see a therapist OP to learn how to deal with him.  Maybe a marital therapist.  My guess is if he goes with you he will not be able to handle it.  People like him are very fragile.  Do not let him make you feel bad about yourself OP.  He is the one with the problem.  On top of OCD, perfectionism, and control (all related) he sounds very insecure.  By the way, if you can talk him into therapy for himself, have him go to a Cognitive Behavioral therapist.  They are the ones that deal with OCD, perfectionism, and control.  There are workbooks for adults to work on those things too.  Maybe you could say, I'll work on my English if you work on your Perfectionism.  Let's each do these workbooks (find one on composition writing or grammar, just to be balanced about it) and devote 30 min twice a week to it.  You can tell him that his perfectionism is driving you crazy.  Good luck.[/quote]

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