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[quote=Anonymous]OMG. Where to start.

First, English. OP, If you speak the way you write, then your husband either DOES NOT WANT to understand you or is using this as a handle to make you feel inferior. Because there's NOTHING  wrong with your English.

Second, everything that you've listed as a cause for disagreement is nonsense. The way you line up shampoo bottles or arrange the curtains does not make you a better or worse person.
Third, you need to stop giving in to him. Do not listen to the arguments over why you should change. And express that in a clear and vocal manner.

Believe me, I am fighting that battle myself. I have a husband who is a wonderful man. He's a great provider. Extremely intelligent and hard-working. Keeps in good shape. Supports me in my professional aspirations and thinks I am smart and beautiful (yee!). He is also a neat freak and demands the same from me. He can turn sulky or throw a bitchy remark because I left my coffee mug in the sink (did not put it in the dishwasher) or because the pots and pans in the kitchen cupboard are stacked in an untidy fashion. Over the 10 years that we've been together, I've learned to detach. If he's willing to get his knickers in a knot (what a wonderful expression, isn't it - also coming from a non-native English speaker) over something like that, it's his problem. I walk away. I'll go do my own thing. I also let him know, without going into any deep discussions, that he is nitpicking. Does it work - well, not entirely. You cannot change the other person. But you can change your attitude and not fall prey for his little petty bullshit.
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