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[quote=Anonymous]If he's throwing things when he gets upset, that's abusive or at least on the way to being abusive.

If he asks whether or not you want to be a better person, your answer should be "No. I am happy with myself the way I am. I want you, as my husband and partner, to also accept me the way I am, not the way you want me to be. This is who I am. You need to accept it."

Honestly, given the descriptions you've given of your husband, I'm not sure this marriage is going to last. You need counseling not so much for your marriage but to learn to [b]stand up for yourself[/b]. You're only answering "yes" to his questions because (it seems to me that) you are intimidated by him and want him to accept you. But he's refusing to accept you as you are; he only wants you to change. This is not acceptable.

Marriage is a partnership with two equals. I don't see, in any of the behavior you've described, that your DH sees things that way.

I also think you should start saving money in a separate account in case things get worse (I'm not sure what's really worse than throwing things; maybe punching you?) and you need to leave.

Good luck. [/quote]

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