Reply to You're an young, attractive, educated, self-sufficient woman. Why??

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Well, this was me. I was busy with college, work, hobbies.  Didn't want a "boyfriend".  I wanted someone who would occasionally take me out to dinner, have hot sex, and let me go on about my life. A friend with benefits.

In my experience, single men always said they were fine with that at first, but always ended up wanting more. I stopped seeing several guys my age when they started getting clingy and boyfriend-y - even if they were decent guys, that just wasn't what I wanted.

I started seeing a married guy (not really on purpose, I didn't know he was married at first, but I didn't dump him when I found out). I found that our expectations were much more on the same page. He didn't want anything more from me than I wanted from him.  I never felt any personal guilt about his wife, that was between them - if I dumped him, he'd cheat with someone else. Never thought of it as my fault that he cheated.

When I finished college and was ready to settle down, I did leave him and started dating a very nice guy my age. Married him.

So, contrary to the opinions of some PPs, I did not ever want or expect the married guy to leave his wife for me. In fact, that was the exact LAST thing I would have wanted. I liked him because he was hot, confident, fun to hang out with, and happened to have a personal situation that meant he wanted a casual relationship just like I did. [/quote]

I must have been in the wrong dating pool then. Seriously. Most guys I dated were all about casual sex in college. [/quote]

+1. She would've been a dream for most of my guy friends.[/quote]

It's a rationalization. There were plenty of young guys willing to have casual sex. There was something else about the older dude that appealed to her. Probably stroked her ego in a way that sex with the always-willing college age dudes didn't. [/quote]

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