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[quote=Anonymous]OP, you are focusing on the wrong issue.  The question isn't whether or not the BF's behavior meets some objective standard for "Emotional Abuse," particularly since they have already broken up.  Your daughter told you she doesn't want to be around him any more.  You already have all the information you need if he starts trying to get back into her life.

The question you SHOULD be asking is "How can I help my daughter learn how to foster healthy romantic relationships?"  And, step one: she has to feel comfortable coming to you and letting you know what's going on in her life.  She needs to feel heard, and if she comes to you and says "BF was emotionally abusive to me" and you immediately respond with "what you describe doesn't meet my definition of Emotional Abuse," of course she's going to shut down.  Back off of the labels she's using.  Who cares whether, in a conversation with you, she hyperbolically calls something "emotional abuse" that wouldn't rise to the level of "emotional abuse" to you?  What matters are her actions.  "Oh, honey.  What do you want to do about it?  What do you want me to do about it?"  LISTEN.

Obviously, if she says "I want to file a complaint with the cops" or "I want to post on Facebook that he's an abuser," those are different conversations, but if she's just coming to you to tell you what's going on?  Listen.  Help her figure out what to do.  Conversations about what technically constitutes "emotional abuse" can come later.[/quote]

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