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[quote=Anonymous]

I think one has to realize the 15 year old probably did not come from a family with very good role model parent(s) so she has had little to model being a parent after.  OP - what is the end game in this situation - does Social Services at least "hope" the teenager will bond with the baby and be able/willing to be a responsible parent for her child by the time she ages out of foster care?  Or is it more realistic to view that you are the foster Mom of two children?  Also, do you have any idea if there is a goal of reuniting with her bio family at all?

This teenager has a baby because she had not boundaries set and was in with less than positive circumstances.  In my opinion, a firm line needs to be taken with her which does not mean 11:00 p.m. curfew on a school night.   She needs to be taught the skills that any teenager would be expected to know by age 15:

- How to do her laundry.
- How to clean her bedroom and bathroom.
- How to prepare basic breakfast dishes and make her lunch even the night before for school.
- How to work with the budget she probably has through the Foster Care program for basic expenses.

In addition, she also needs to learn how to care for her baby as much as possible, but safely in terms of feeding, bathing/dressing and one-on-one playtime to bond.  Since you are "legally" foster Mom to both, this may be the "grayer area" about who has responsibility for what.  Still it is the important one as far as developing a Mother-child bond.  And also considering what is most important for the teen Mom now which is to get back to school and to complete her studies.  So for example, there very could be "shared"night time feedings so that the teenager gets a good night sleep to go to school, but she has the weekend nights.  I would also encourage you to praise her whenever she does do something or even makes a good attempt as again, she may never have heard that she can do nuch.

This girl needs to have a change of so many behaviors that it is hard to know where to start, but I do think ending the nighttime forarys to the local corner at least during the school week has got to be one.  If this girl has any friends at all in the high school, I would encourage her to invite them over for dinner and/or to encourage "school related' outings with them on the weekend.  She is a minorso you can set the rules, but I think your foster care agency needs to discuss what skills and goals are most important for this girl to acquire.  Then, also what negative behaviors are most dangerous to her and how  - if there is a way - they might be curbed.  Or what battles need to be fought and what things could just slide.  You certainly have a tough case on your hand so do reach out to the resources available for you to learn how best to help her.

The number one goal needs to be the safety and nurturing of the baby, and if the teen is not capable of doing so, then it must be recognized and fall on you.  And you will need to be honest with the social workers.  Obviously, the girl does need to have goals set for getting her GED/high school diploma, being on a job directed high school program unless she has a desire and ability for college track, attending parenting classes, and also counseling.

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