Reply to advice and tips for parent and sibling moving in with us

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Hi everyone, I am the OP, I wanted to thank you guys for your advice and help. My husband did ask if this would be okay prior to arranging it. I really am okay with saying yes. When I married him, I gained a great FIL and BIL. I consider them my own family and will help them in the same way I would help my own parents. I am nervous about what this will mean for our marriage. We have our routines and like to relax cuddled up on the couch after work for example. We will need to work hard to make sure we still take alone time and spend time together. As far as the time period for this, my FIL has struggled with finding a new job and has a lot of health issues. I consider his brother living with us at least until he is college aged. As for his father I just don't know. I will [b]try to lead by example in the house[/b], if they see easily how we like to clean things, [b]I hope they follow suit[/b]. As for dinners, [b]I will plan on for now cooking unless someone wants to offer[/b]. I never learned how to cook for two anyway and typically make enough meal to feed a small army. I am nervous about them being comfortable, us being comfortable and if my FIL might never get back on his feet. [/quote]

It's these hopes and unspoken expectations that PPs are warning you need to be explicitly stated. What may be obvious to you, ie - the standard of cleanliness for the place, won't be obvious to others and they will disappoint you without even realizing it or meaning to. It happens with room mates, spouses, and certainly house guests - live-in ILs aren't going to be an exception in this regard. Having a chore schedule is probably the best way to keep everyone happy. Your FIL and BIL hopefully don't want to impose, so if they know exactly what you expect of them, they'll be happier and you'll be happier. If you don't want to instruct them on what to do and how to do it, then simply ask them how they're like to contribute to the household - would they like to cook twice a week? take out the trash? do the laundry? vaccum? It can be their choice, but they need to pick something and do it. [/quote]

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